Owl has been kind enough to serve as our courier and so I am in receipt of your much appreciated response. As you can see, my companions and I have moved on to newer models on the lot – most notably the red Explorer with rails on top – though not per your request. We like variety and consider ourselves enviably unrestrained in our scatter-fire approach to the art of defecating.
You, Poor Fellow, by contrast, are restricted to the routine of relieving yourself on one or two grassy knolls and rock beds located on either side of your Two-Legs’ domicile, and the near-daily trip to the drainage facility nearby where, again, on occasion, you are released from the ball-and-chain and may select a site of your own choosing for your several times daily constitutional. Yes, I have kept an eye on you whether on property or off, unless of course you are whisked off in a vehicle. If you don’t mind my saying, you appear a bit worse for the wear each time you return from one such journey. Might I suggest you do all in your power to limit them.
PS I have noticed your shivering on several occasions. Might you perhaps have some Chihuahua in your lineage? My initial concern about parked cars was no reflection on either your breed’s intelligence or a judgement of any such pastime as your suggest. It was simply a word of caution as I have witnessed many an untimely redistribution of life-force resulting from lack of vigilance on the part of all concerned, particularly those on two legs. Please forgive any clumsiness of expression on my part that may have invited self-doubt* on yours.